The Dilemma of the People-Loving Introvert

This week I'm flying this parenting ship solo.  John is on an extended work trip and is gone for ten days.  Or, as I've been thinking of it, an eternity.  He regularly takes two to three day trips that are more of an annoyance than a burden.  I don't like it, but we do just fine.  Ten days, internationally, with a 14 hour time difference - I'm just grateful that this kind of trip is a rarity.  

Being by myself for so long is really bringing my introversion front and center.  I can see very clearly how small my circle is.  That's good - I like it small.  That, coupled with some of the natural isolation and friend-dropping that comes with having a toddler who is ill-fitted to most social situations, has made a small circle even smaller.  This is only problematic when the entire circle leaves town at once.  Which it has. 

Even so, being alone is not a problem.  I like being alone; hence my introversion.  But I also like people.  I'm horrible at making plans and I have a perpetual case of the you'll-have-fun-once-you-get-theres.  I don't even mind crowds of people, provided I know them all and I have a "safe" anchor friend with me.  I tend to befriend extroverts, people who will (sometimes literally) pull me out of my space and do the plan-making for me.  Oh, have you met my husband?  I don't know that they come more extroverted.  At any rate, it doesn't take much social interaction to fill up my people cup.  But none at all for several consecutive days...even if I don't like making plans, I at least like having the option to make them (or not make them).

I like trying to get inside people's brains and piece together how they became who they are.  I like people as case studies more than company, probably, but the fact remains that I like them.  I care about them as individuals and as a whole, but I'd usually prefer to be among them than with them.  I'd rather watch than participate.  Still - introverted as I am, I am no recluse.

With my short list being entirely out of town this past weekend, I was faced with some options.  I could keep busy by myself and deal with some loneliness.  Or I could step every so slightly out of my zone, suck it up a little, and go see someone off-list.  I have standing invitations at my dad's house and any of the in-laws homes, but they're all in Houston, and to get to Houston you have to drive to Houston.  I love you all dearly, but making a three hour drive without a co-parent would be a living nightmare.  A time or two we have made the drive easily, but nine times out of ten one of us has to sit in the back with him to allay his fury of being restricted.  I could have tried to reconnect with old college friends.  There are several whom I shamefully haven't spoken to in years.  I could have gone to a random playgroup and tried to enlarge the circle.

Care to guess what I did?

Nothing!  Well, not nothing, but nothing outside the ordinary.  I set the table for a tiny pity party, drank some tea, and carried on.  I ran errands, we went to the park, I cleaned the house.  I caught up on laundry, which was a feat with a broken dryer (though I have to say, hanging clothes to dry on a line is very satisfying and I wished I had a bonnet.  Just kidding.  Not really).  I watched X-Files on Netflix and let Felix watch way too many Sesame Street Youtube videos.  And it wasn't so bad.

Still - I'm pretty ready for my extroverted counterpart to come home and break up the solitude.  And because I just plain miss him.  Taiwan (or India, or wherever the hell he is), please send him back.

Did you know that New Delhi is ten and a half hours ahead of us?  Apparently there are several countries that didn't round to the hour when the GMT was established.  I never knew!